Blasémo's · Corner

Someone asked me if I believe in wasting time. She said she's been through a lot of the same troubles I have, and in the end she can look back and see that even those 'pointless' times were useful and instrumental. She doesn't believe is wasting time.

But... as much as I try to take some measure of comfort in that, I just can't quite believe it. It feels like too much of a cop-out for staying right where I am. I'm too complacent already. I hate the fact that I'm still where I'm at, and I hate the fact that I'm not motivated enough to do anything about it.

Another friend has told me feelings like that are what's called "divine discontent." That I should be longing for more. And that sounds great too, but what if I still don't know how to make myself change? What if I'm still not bold enough, not strong enough, don't have the will, and don't know how?

What do you call that? More importantly, what do you do about that?

Looks like she'll be swinging east of here according to the updated path.

And it seems phone centers are already overwhelmed. Just tried to call the San Antonio number to test out posting here by phone and got the lovely operator message... This'll be interesting.

So it seems Rita is more or less headed straight for us here in Austin.

I went shopping for provisions right after I got off work, and everyone's already out of water (guesstimating from NOAA's image, the eye'll be closest to us at right around 12 noon saturday).  So I bought a buncha juice and other drinks in large containers to drink by then, and I'll just use tap.  Tastes pretty decent, anyway.  Got a buncha candles, lighter, canned foodies, bread, ramen, and some other stuff.

I don't think it'll be too bad here, but far better to be overprepared than under, eh?  Then again they do say it's the 3rd strongest in the Atlantic Basin, and it's got another 9.5hrs or so from now to build up strength...  So I'm in wait-and-see mode for now.  I'll try to keep this space updated so that whoever's looking on can either monitor how I'm doing or the status of the area should things turn nasty and you have some less connected friends/family.

If you have any recommendations for things I might not have thought of to get, let me know.  I'd appreciate it.

So uh...
I don't really feel like doing much except gaming lately... at all. I pretty much go to work, game and eat/drinkcoffee while playing, sleep, and repeat. I'm really only posting because I'm bored to death at work (slowest. day. EVER.). Is that bad?

Soooo... church.

I'm pretty not liking it right now. And this saddens me.

Bay-sik-lee, for me at the moment it is: at best, an engaging set of songs performed with admirable skill, accompanied by a semi(psuedo?)-relevant message of some sort.
At worst, a repetitive chore consisting of upbeat songs performed with lifeless zeal, sugar-coated - or more likely irrelevant - messages, and an aching punctuation of loneliness.

I desire God. I desire a return to fellowship with both Him and His people. I desire accountability. However, I have a hard time submitting myself to the psychological torture of /church/ every sunday. Video games are far easier and involve far less emotional involvement.